Moments of motherhood… 

Moments of motherhood… 

As women we make many choices. Most of them may not even be for us. Many of us are planners and with being a planner we map our lives out. See, we have this idea that things will go as planned. Ha!! Boy were we wrong. 

You know how people have this theory that first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby. They never mention college, starting your career, finding love (quite difficult) and finally the chance that a baby may not be in the cards, be extremely difficult and may even include many miscarriages, infant death and/or still borns. Your very first pregnancy has you über excited, and one morning you are bleeding uncontrollably. In my case, the morning after graduation which also happened to be Mother’s Day and my 1 year wedding anniversary. You have now become a member of a club that no one wants to be a part of. You have a million emotions and thoughts but the one at the top of the list is… No one understands. Eventually many women go on to get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy with a beautiful baby. Life gets better and wounds are healed. 

 
 Your beautiful baby is older and it’s now time to consider a sibling. You have this discussion and sometimes the next baby is planned, sometimes it isn’t. Doesn’t matter, you’re ecstatic! You don’t share the news with the public yet because you’re nervous due to previous experience. When you finally past the point you miscarried previously, you relax. Out of the blue, you discover a brown discharge which worries you because you never want to see any color while pregnant. Immediately you go to the E.R where they explain that both you and baby are well. You have what is called a “subchorionic hematoma”. They say you will both be fine since there is a strong heart beat for the baby. Off you went home with a smiling face! They were definitely wrong. A few weeks later, you go to your prenatal check ups and there is no heart beat. They try to explain but you stop hearing words, only silence and ringing in your ears. You think to yourself ” not again”. In the back of your mind you were always terrified of losing another but when it happens it still crushes. A week later they prescribe pills to start the process because your body is holding on to the pregnancy. The doctor provides clear instructions to take 2 pills, if they don’t work, take 2 more 48 hrs later. Well, 48 hrs later down went 2 more pills that changed life forever. You began to bleed, you bled so bad that you could only crawl to the bathroom. you were passing hand size clots and bleeding through pads and diapers. Blood was everywhere and the toilet was so full of blood everytime that it was almost purple. you cried at the idea that my child was in my toilet, cried because you were so weak and cried because you couldn’t believe it was happening again but worse. 

(Here’s where the story gets deeper). 

The next morning my daughter (3) was in the room with me making sure I was ok, I wasn’t. I called the doctor and his nurse said that he wasn’t available but my symptoms were normal. I had rapid pulse, excessive bleeding and excessive sweating. I called the hospital and the on-call Doctor in turn called my doctor. While I waited I went to the bathroom and when I reached the toilet I asked my daughter to call daddy and nana because mommy needs help. From there I fainted as I heard her little voice yelling through the house. My husband tried to wake me but I couldn’t stay awake. He carried me to the car and rushed me to the hospital while talking to 9-11. When we arrived I still couldn’t stay awake. A long night of passing my clots, trying to stop the bleeding, fainting, seizing and tachycardia, led me to finally have my blood drawn. My hemoglobin was a 3. I had 2 blood transfusions, emergency d&c, potassium and magnesium transfusions and a 3 day stay in ICU. 14 doctors, my daughter and husband saved my life. God knows this experience has changed me. I went through a metamorphosis that was so great that I no longer recognized myself. Sometimes I still don’t. It hasn’t been a year yet. July will make 1 year. Depression is real and it’s over powering, intrusive and dark. You make decisions that you otherwise wouldn’t, you think things that you wouldn’t. You’re just different. When life throws curve ball after curve ball directly at you but you survive, you can only go with the premise that you’re meant to be here with some great purpose. I’m no superhero. I have and am currently going through so much that I never reveal. However; I am strong! Ive realized that I am breakable but the pieces come back together. Never the same way though. What I am is a human mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend. I am only me and I’m beyond grateful for every second of every minute of every day. 

The roads I walk are dark. But after a rain storm comes a rainbow! Both of my children are/will be Rainbow babies! There is a beautiful light. 

  

  

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Wow! 

Wow! 

I didn’t realize I’ve been away for so long. It’s easy to get caught up in life, especially as a mom, wife, student and business owner. How do you keep it all together. You’re pulled in so many different directions and you rarely notice it. We must remember that moms need personal time. If you haven’t found an awesome hobby or a great “moms day” activity, I would suggest that you do and quickly. Never lose sight of the fact that you are still an amazing woman and not just mommy and wife (although those are great roles)! Have an awesome day rockstar! 

  

Being a mom…

Being a mom…

As a mom, it is ok to feel tired, overwhelmed, frustrated and even defeated. There is no need to hide these feelings and act as if everything is always alright. Being a mom is not easy. Remember to give yourself some free time to read, have adult conversation, plan a Mom’s night out or just some quiet time. Our kids cannot enjoy the best of us if we are not working to our full potential. You are a person too, relax, you’re doing just fine. No one expects perfection, but moms get pretty close 😉  Too often do women keep quiet about how they are feeling and has to stop. It will eat away at you bit by bit. Start to have conversations with other moms about these feelings, you will see that you are not alone. 

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Happy 3rd Birthday!

Happy 3rd Birthday!

I can’t believe that this day has come so fast! My baby girl turned 3 Valentines Day weekend! Let me first say that I only do birthday parties for ages 1, 5, 10, 13, 16 and 18, if she decides to invite me to her 21st, that will be beautiful just not funded by us! LOL! So for this year, I invited 2 other girls over and they did arts and crafts, made pizzas, she opened her gifts and had cupcakes. It was cheap, quick and the girls were happy! So easy and awesome! The other parents said that it was the best party they ever attended and weren’t exhausted! A super play date with tote bags that they made themselves. Feel free to try it yourself or share your own stories, 4 will be here before I know it!

http://www.PhysicalVitality.com

We want our bodies back!!

We want our bodies back!!

We love being mothers, right? It is a gift from God. We would just like to feel sexy again or wear our favorite jeans again. We usually wait until after Christmas to start a workout routine. Every year people torture themselves at New Years by making weight loss resolutions. Lets try a fun resolution, like taking a vacation and enjoying more date nights. Make the decision to start weight loss or toning well beyond New Years so that you can pace yourself. Summer bodies are built-in the winter. Don’t wait until New years to make a resolution. Want or need a personal trainer, but it’s too costly? Check out our new services. Online and personalized training. Post baby bodies, summertime fine bodies and I just want to look and feel good bodies!
http://physicalvitality.com/services.html

Let’s see those costumes!!

Let’s see those costumes!!

Hey guys, yes it is Halloween!! Did your kids have a party this week, go to the pumpkin patch or going trick or treating? Do you have mixed feelings about whether or not to let your child participate? Lets talk today! Love great convo! Where are the costumes? Lets see those kiddies!! I think you should be able to hit reply and add a photo, lets hope! I love to see the photos!! Heres my little pudding, she’s getting so big!! Pirate baby!!!Image

Toddler Times…

Toddler Times…

Helllllllllllo!!!! Hoping that everyone is doing well! How are those beautiful babies?? Well mine is now 20 months. Does anyone else hate saying that? I just say a year and a half. So I have an independent little teddy bear on my hands. She is currently sweeping the floor which is cracking me up. She has to do everything herself and she’s pretty sure that she is doing it right! So my tip for the day is about picky eaters. Fortunately I do not have one, but my friends do and I gave them this suggestion. Make a smoothie, especially since it is flu season. The smoothie should consist of their favorite fruit with a pediatrician/toddler approved superfood powder and milk or water. I put banana, spinach, almond milk and a superfood mix in my daughters. Her immune system is so much stronger now. She use to have a constant runny nose, but ha!! No more!! So, that’s my tip, a great healthy smoothie that taste fruity!  Hopefully they love it and you will love buying less tissue and doctors visits.

P.S Make enough for you to drink too!

Tata!!!

http://www.physicalvitality.com

I am not a doctor, nor am I diagnosing. Always consult with a  doctor before trying anything new.