So I have been away for a moment, enjoying new motherhood. It is very interesting how your life changes so drastically when a child comes along. As a mother she has become my very first priority. All the things that you prepared for and said that you would or wouldn’t do, go out of the window once they arrive. The love is completely amazing and overwhelming, but it is completely an OJT (on-the job training) type of situation. Between ear infections, tummy aches, food allergies, gas pressure, constipation, and just plain crankiness, you never quite know what your day will hold. Now all of those things happen, but so do smiles, giggles, hysterical laughter, and adoring stares! Those are the best times. I just wanted to share that with you. My baby girl is 17 weeks old and she is phenomenal! I know other people say the same, but she is learning so much, so fast. I put every ounce of me into her. My goal is for her to be the best her that she can be. It starts very early because they are not children for long, so you must “Carpe Diem”!!
When I first had her, I felt overwhelmed around week 4. Not because I didn’t have help, but I didn’t want the help. I felt like she was all mine and my responsibility. My husband often told me that I was not a single parent. I didn’t realize that I was behaving like one, but I was. Even when family came to visit, I kept her in the room with me. I was quite possessive of her, but I didn’t want anyone to be burdened down with her. I remember when I was in the our room one day, I just sat and tears streamed down my face. Not sad tears, but just tears. I asked a friend recently if she went through postpartum depression because it can creep on a you. I’m sure I never went through it, but I did go through a necessary breather. You see, when you have a baby and then continuously go through life without acknowledging how new things are, life has as way of doing it for you. It tells you to slow down, pay attention, smile, shed a tear or two and smile again. The precious gift of life deserves acknowledgement. Even now, I’m no ones sap by any means, but at times I look at her smile and smile and shed a tear of appreciation. A child is such a precious gift. Many people who have a lot of children, never lost one, have completely healthy children or never had difficulties getting pregnant, are sometimes unaware of how amazing and complicated creating a life actually is. Every single thing must be perfect to make this child. For the people who are having difficulties conceiving or keeping a child, please know that you are not alone and that it is a difficult process. Keep your head up!!!!
The Mommy Confidentials 